Friday, July 16, 2010

You'll Fail

Have you ever had anyone tell you not to try something because you’ll fail? I did, my high school counselor said it wasn’t worth my time to try to attend college. She really should have been a motivational speaker, really. Now out of full disclosure, I was a slacker in HS. As a result, she simply looked at my past performance and accepted that would be my future. She was wrong. I went to college, struggled, found my grove, did well in school and graduated. In other words I grew up.
That counselor jumped to conclusions about me but frankly we all jump to conclusions occasionally. What’s shocking is how some of us jump to conclusions about ourselves. Some of us are sure we will fail so we don’t try. I’ve been guilty, and perhaps some of you, of seeing more obstacles in goals then opportunities. Since becoming a mother and knowing how fast life passes by, I hate the thought of knowing that I’m holding myself back. Right now I’m working hard at pushing myself forward.
How about you, do you hold yourself back?

14 comments:

  1. I can't believe your high school counselor told you that! Some counsel!

    Do I hold myself back? I'm trying not to let anything hold me back or bring me down. I have a quote stuck to my day planner: Stop waiting for ___ to make you happy.

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  2. I’m your newest follower =) happy friday


    http://sokikay.blogspot.com

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  3. strange as it is, my advisor in high school told me I should probably go find a job instead of attending college...well, I didn't take her advice, went to college and like you, grew up somewhere along the way, and was the first one in my family to graduate from college! Yay! Guess discouraging people are all around us, huh?!

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  4. What kind of counselors are these? Yikes! I have always taught in some tough inner city schools and my motto was "I will go to college!" I had it on pencils and I would write it on their assignments and I would even put their pictures in a cap and gown so they could see themselves graduating! It takes a strong person to get past stupid comments from someone who is in a position to help form your future. A counselor should encourage not discourage! Yes, there are people who will tell you you will fail, but it is that exact comment that makes me push myself even harder!

    Mama Hen

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  5. Yikes! My HS counselor tried to take me out, so I don't know whats worse!

    Yes, I definitely do, and its funny that you should bring this up today. I was just telling my friend this morning, that when I catch myself doing this, I stop and try to combat that negative internal tape by speaking to myself (or actually journaling) as if I were my own best friend.

    I know I'm not the only one to treat myself in a way that I would never dream of treating a friend, right? We do and say things to ourselves that we would never to a friend; we are our own worst critics! To our friends, we are supportive & encouraging.

    So I stop, and treat myself as if I were my own best friend. And it works!

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  6. following you back! Thanks for the follow

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  7. TV, like you I’m also working hard at pushing myself forward. Holding myself back has been something I grew up doing, what with negative voices all around me. Well when I became a mom, I said no more! I don't want to pass this down to my kids. Sometimes it's subconscious habits though, and for as long as my Hubby and I have counseled and treated ourselves, it's also necessary to reach out and ask for help when I know I need it. Hope this makes sense. My good good friend and I had a long talk about this on our playdate just yesterday, so it's still fresh in my mind. She just graduated with a Masters in Marriage Family Therapy.

    You keep inspiring me indirectly to write a post about blogging from your true voice. I catch myself holding myself back though, hearing in my head, "You're not good enough to do that." Well, if I write from my heart and want to help myself and others find their voice, I can just share my experiences and questions, right? It doesn't have to be good like X Blogger, in whose eyes am I viewing this anyway? Am I seeking approval from others?

    This is how I question this particular negative thought that arises in my mind. Something like 87% of what we're exposed to every day is negative, so it's hard word to counter it.

    You inspire me with your honest and deep questions! Keep working at pushing yourself forward, I'm with you on this one! It's a fight and you can do it, you did it with college!

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  8. Yes, I think I am holding myself back and thank you for reminding me of that. Seriously, I don't mean that in a sarcastic kinda way. There are days, weeks, sometimes months that I live in the spirit of "I have 2 kids to juggle, I can't do much more" and then I get my wake up moment by watching some lady walk down the street with a whole gaggle of kids at which point I think "If she can do it, so can I!" Or I read a post like yours, which puts me back on the ground with both feet.

    Thank you and on that note, I am going to get productive and do things I set out to do this morning.

    Oh, if you have a chance, check out the new initiative I am launching today: Friday Faves. I would love your feedback / thoughts.

    http://mformommy.blogspot.com/2010/07/m-for-mommy-presents-friday-faves.html

    Have a wonderful weekend! and stay cool!!

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  9. Thanks for the feedback!! Just one question: which scrub from Neutrogena did you mean? They have so many....

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  10. Good thing you didn't listen to your counselor! Thanks for following, I am following you back. Have a great weekend!
    Bonnie :)

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  11. I think I hold myself back with my fear of failure. I don't give myself enough credit and just assume I can't so I don't even try. Like you now that I have become a mother I am working hard at not doing that. The last thing I want is my children to see me doing this and then do it themselves. So it is something I am always working on.

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  12. We should go back and sue the HS counselors because I had the same thing happen to me! School never came easy to me and well HS I seriously slacked off! I wanted to go to this one school and my counselor told me that I wouldn't get into the school. Well I did get accepted but not to the program I wanted but I GOT ACCEPTED! I did graduate and I went on to have some very good jobs and paid me well during my single days.

    Right, now I'm struggling with taking this huge leap into expanding my online business and I'm totally afraid of failing and embarrassing myself. I need to get over this! I'll let you know how it goes or just keep reading my blog - i'm sure I'll be posting about this adventure!

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  13. Hey TV! Just stopped by to say hello! Look at all these great responses! It shows you how "real" your blog is and you should be proud my bloggy friend! Thank you for stopping by my buddies blog the other day! That was nice! Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

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