Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Little Perspective, Please

I believe a solid perspective can solve the world’s problems, but I’m not a world leader….. Moving on, a neighbor recently told me about a conversation she had with a friend regarding couples who do not have children. Her friend’s opinion; people who do not have kids are selfish.

I have a different opinion on this matter.

I commend couples who decide not to have children because they don’t want them. Having worked for a non-profit for abused children, couples who don’t want children definitely should not have them. If people recognize they don’t want kids, that’s their decision.

The other viewpoint, what if the couple could not have children. Adoption may have been an option but perhaps not for that couple. Infertility is a painful topic and one so many couples are not comfortable talking about. I'd also like to point out that this argument goes for couples with one child.

Thoughts, feelings, reactions?

10 comments:

  1. great topic. I feel as you do, this topic is very sensitive depending on the couple. My mom's best friend(been friends for over 40 years) and her husband were unable to have children of their own and they get VERY offended when others comment about them being "selfish"...my stand on this topic: I don't assume anything until I know the facts about each couple and their relationship! GREAT POST...HAPPY SUNDAY!!

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  2. Here I go thinking why can't people mind their own bees wax. No one knows what people are going through and what they have gone through. Having had so many fertility issues for years, I remember when people would comment it hurt. we don't know why people have made the choices they have and unless they want to share their journey, then it really is not for anyone to judge. Have a great day TV!

    Mama Hen

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  3. Oh and I still have people asking if I want more children or why I don't have more. It is up to God I tell them. But it still hurts. I would love to have one or two more children, especially for my daughter. I think people should be a little more sensitive to what they ask.

    Mama Hen

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  4. I think there is far too much pressure in society to procreate. Children are not for everyone and couples should not feel pressured to have kids just because that is what you "should" do after you get married.

    And, actually, coulples who know they couldn't give the time and attention to a child due to their careers or lifestyle are actually being unselfish by choosing not to have kids.

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  5. I agree. This is definitely one of those topics that can incubate judgment, or love and acceptance. Like Marissa, I don't assume anything until I know the couple's unique situation - and even then I have no right to judge why they have no children or one child. Great topic, TV!

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  6. I think that wether or not you choose to have children is your business and no one else's! Not everyone is cut out to be parents, some people can't have children the list goes on and on. Whatever their reasons are they are theirs and we are not living their life. People need to just mind their own business and not worry about what other people are doing, unless they are harming themselves or others!

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  7. Hey TV just stopped by to say hello! Have a great night!

    Mama Hen

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  8. I agree with you. I'm pursuing a degree in Human Services and the case studies we are looking at profile so many cases of neglect and abuse due to a parent's decision to simply not care.

    Following back from www.mrsmamadrama.com

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  9. I have run into this same topic, but mine was we were selfish for only wanting to have one child. If one makes a home for one family, and 8 makes a home for another, I think it is time spent in prayer and conversation with your husband that should be the determining factor on how many kids.

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  10. I actually think it's people who decide to HAVE children who are the selfish ones (myself included). We're basically doing it because we want to add to our own life's fulfillment; we're straining more of the world's resources by increasing the population; and if we really just wanted the "experience" of raising a child we'd adopt. But when it comes down to it, we're egotistical enough to want to replicate our own genetic material. So, me having kids. . . all about me. Anyone who says they're procreating to "help society" or something is kidding themselves.

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