Monday, August 2, 2010

What To Expect After You’ve Expected

There are books upon books available to help Mom’s with their impending birth. For me, now 18 months post delivery, I realized there is very little information about socializing with baby.
My daughter is an incredibly “busy” little girl. She is like a baby chick that I try to herd, unsuccessfully. (most kids are busy but she’s exceptional) This means play dates are filled with half spoken sentences while I prevent a near death fall, lunches out are full of tantrums as she tries to escape her high chair and trips to the park are always exciting as I chase her from one corner to the other. Not quite what I anticipated pre-parent.
Lately I find myself turning down play date invites because they are not fun with a very curious and busy toddler.
Our baby girl is fun, smart, sweet, busy and we love her dearly. I realize this stage will not last forever but I still wonder when the day will come when I get to rejoin the adult conversation.
What do you think, have your kids made it hard to be friendly?

19 comments:

  1. YES!! My kids are both very much the same. My daughter(who is almost 2) is very rambunxious, and my son is just a spaz a lot of the time. I am constantly trying to keep him from karate chopping other kids at play dates, as he hasn't learned the concept of keeping his hands(or feet) to himself. We don't take them out to dinner, because they end up climbing over the booths and throwing things at the other diners. One day it will end(I hope!).

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  2. Thank TV for joining Mama's Little Nestwork! Come and visit throughout the week and support features by making comments! I would like to feature you, so let me know when you have a post you would like to do for that! About the playdates, Little Chick is very active. She is also an only child, so much of things having to do with being social have to happen at playdates, where as siblings have to work through being social all day. But this past year she started school and after adjusting she loved it! It takes time and I think a lot has to do when they don't have the opportunities at home to figure out things with other children!

    Mama Hen

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  3. I remember those days with my first son. (I don't notice second time around, BTW, it does get better.) It is really awkward with busy and demanding toddlers at playdates, parks, etc. They are teenagers-in-waiting. They want it and they want it NOW!

    Plan a playdate at your house, where she'll be around her toys and not so overwhelmed. Do you have other kids for her to play with around the same age (within a year or so)? If so, make a fun area in your living room with lots of toys and pillows where you and the other moms can watch while you sip coffee and talk. MIght work.

    Another tip I love: Switch her toys and books every few weeks. She'll forget she had them and when you bring them back out, it's like christmas all over again. Good luck--toddlers are HARD. ;)

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  4. I think it's the opposite with me. We had moved across the country only a year before having Georgia. So having a kid made it much easier to go places and make new friends. I would go to the local Mom's group, and we could all commiserate together about the new stages/phases. I found most of my best friends out here through that.

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  5. I must say, that toddler phase is one of the hardest to do playdates with, just b/c they're so naturally curious but I didn't want to squelch them. Yet at the same time, I didn't want them break other people's breakables! That's the part that I struggled with, so I found ways to train them not to touch certain things. If they can do that, then I felt comfortable taking them to someone's house for a playdate. You're on to something with that title, What to Expect after You've Expected!

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  6. What's a complete sentence? Haha! It WILL get easier as she gets older. Of course if you're planning on having more, just about the time she's old enough to play with friends on her own you'll have another to run after. :-)

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  7. Since I don't have a child - I, unfortunately, don't have any advice - but I do have a niece and yes, she went thru that phase. Unfortunately it took a bit of a confusing toll on my sister - however, I think now that she has gone thru it - she would tell you, to relax, laugh - enjoy this time. It will be over before you know it!

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  8. OH YES! My cousins and I were just talking about this tonight. It's like adult conversation is non-existent right now. I have a three year old and one year old, and BOTH of my boys have A LOT of energy and are moving ALL DAY LONG! There is no tv watching time, there is no laying down to rest, unless my one year old is napping. It is VERY tough to go to other homes to visit, because I am either chasing my one year old around the house, because he loves to find ALL the breakables, or I am having to fuss at my three year old for taking toys and not sharing :) ahhh, if it does get easier to socialize, let me know when Momma's out there???!

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  9. Oh, I can totally relate! Here's the thing: a mom in my mommy group has been a great example for me. Even though her son isn't as busy as Kai is, at play dates she always spends time with her boy. More so than time with other mommies. I have observed her at several occasions and without having talked to her about this, I have learned that her first priority is her son. She teaches him to share, to socialize, to be careful, to play with toys he's unfamiliar with, to...[fill in the blank]. If she has a chance to socialize with other mommies she will, but her first priority is to be with her son.

    I often am the mom who tends to more to tell Kai "Go on and play" so I can socialize and catch up with my mommy friends. Having observed my friend, i have decided to go about it a bit differently. I am going to focus a bit more on Kai and less on needing to catch up. If I really want to spend some quality time with friends, we'll do that at night when the kids are down.

    Personally, i don't even DARE to go out to a restaurant as Kai would be right there with KLV: climbing out of his chair, running around the restaurant, not allowing me to savor even 1 bite of my dinner / lunch. Add to that a baby and you really are not going out for dinner any time soon. I probably should, just to get them used to the setting, but at the moment that's just not gonna happen. I need more help than my husband help in order for that to be worth the $$.

    HRH Mommy
    http://mformommy.blogspot.com

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  10. Ahhh. My 1st was very similar. She was a mover, she wandered too (going to the mall was a nightmare), she was busy, and fearless, and it made life difficult. I dreaded taking her to BBQ's, vacations, etc. where the environment wouldn't be baby proofed. For her, it got a lot better when she got closer to 4. We still have to remind her to sit when she's eating, but it's a huge improvement. She still has a ton of energy though, it's just the way she is wired. My 2nd, is completely opposite, I think the Good Lord knew I needed a break :)

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  11. Hi There
    I found you through Mama's little Nestwork. I look forward to reading your blog.
    Cheers,
    Tiffany
    http://nimblergrove.blogspot.com/

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  12. Hey TV just stopped by to say hello! have a great night! Thank you again for joining my network and making the first day so fun! :)

    Mama Hen

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  13. I feel like I'm not really "myself" when running around after my kids. I can't really truly visit, so I am not as friendly as I want to be. I used to also think that "boys" (which I have 2) were the reason I crash at night in exhaustion. They are both SOOO busy. Apparently it's not just a "boy" thing, huh?

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  14. You sound like your in the same boat as I am! Abby started walking early and very rarely sits still. She's the only one at gymboree who doesn't sit for circle time and there is no such thing as sitting on the floor and playing with a toy. She's just a spirited little thing who loves to explore and be on the move! I also find myself being careful about who we play with because she is so intense. Oh, and full length conversation.... what are those? LOL

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  15. Mine is almost 3 so it's gotten easier. However, when she was little she was always a busy body and always very tied to her schedule (imagine a toddler saying "mama, bed time NOW"). We spent lots of time at home or organized playdates at our house instead. We also tried not to overload ourselves with TOO many activities.

    Oh and as for the high chair - mine stopped using hers at 11 months old and moved on to a table and chairs because she would not sit in it for the life of her.

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  16. Thanks for stopping by. In response to your comment: I just woke up from a nap and as soon as I get the kiddo's up, we're off to get the sinful stuff :-)

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  17. Ahh I didn't know about my award from you...I'll look at it! My apologies! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Have a great day!

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  18. HELLO!
    I'm your newest follower. I just ran across you on MBC in the 300 group. I would love for you to stop by my blog and return the favor. I love your design, too cute. I have some giveaways going on you might like. :)

    http://couponclippintexan.com/

    Sassy Gigi

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  19. Oh yep! It is hard to have even phone conversations with others with the little ones always on the go but I joined a local MOPS(mother's of preschoolers) group and it's sooo nice being with other grown up mommy's that can stop in mid sentence, grab a kid to keep them from falling/hurting themselves, dust them off and send them back playing, and then finish the sentence/conversation and neither one of us think anything about it. LOL

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