Saturday, October 9, 2010

An Apology

Recently a girl I was fairly unpleasant to in Junior High found me on FB. I have always wanted to apologize to her but never had the gumption. There is no particular reason I was a jerk to her other than those were tough times for me so I must have taken it out on fellow friends. I am not proud of this behavior but it happened (darn it)

Even more recently I decided to write her and tell her how sorry I was for being mean, that I had no right to treat her that way and humble pie has made me more kind.

She wrote me back within 5 minutes and said, “Funny, she didn’t remember me being mean”. I almost fell out of my chair and then chuckled.

Knowing I didn’t have a lasting negative effect on her, I’m still glad I apologized.

How about you, have you reached out to your past and made amends? Or have you received an overdue apology, how did it make you feel?

17 comments:

  1. A few years back I received an apology from a friend who was not nice to me throughout most of our friendship. We were like sisters who loved each other because we had grown up with one another but we didn't always like each other. It was nice to get an apology because some of the things she did really had a big impact on me. We are much better friends now.

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  2. Truth be told..I have the worst memory in the world which can be a good and a bad thing at times. I do however remember that back in like 4th grade our class was building stuff with tongue depressors like houses and buildings for science and I was bending them back and flinging them as far as they would go. Well, the wild boy sitting next to me got a tongue depressor in the eye and he made a huge, loud freak out scene and actually got sent to the pricipals office for it!! I didn't ever get in trouble and I felt awful. hehehe...it's kinda funny now. I mentioned it to him in high school and he too did not remember. Funny how those things can be forgotten by them and remembered by us.

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  3. Hi,
    Thanks for leaving a comment under my post, Tips for children's writers, yesterday! I just became a follower and hope you will follow back.

    my blog is www.mayrassecretbookcase.blogspot.com

    Your post took me back in time. I wasnalsonmean to a girl or two when I was in junior high. I feel so sorry now. I should probably find then and apologize.

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  4. I know it felt good to reach out even if she didn't remember. For myself, I went to 14 different schools and four of those were high school so I don't remember too many people.

    I really enjoy your site. Thanks for following too.

    Tomica

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  5. I tried to send an apology to my freshman year college roommate. She wouldn't acknowledge me. I just let that one go. I'm hoping to teach my daughter to be nicer than I was. Maybe that will make me right with the universe.

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  6. You know, an apology really does go a long way. I have been blessed with a horrible memory so much I don't recall. But, we were just talking about bullying on Facebook. I apparently started quite the controversy. I said that I remembered BEING bullied in elementary school by a kid and I gave his name and told what he did. THen I thought, hmm... and I went to look him up to see if he was on FB at all. I found someone by his name and sent him a message asking if he lived on ___ Street and went to our particular elementary school. He wrote back almost immediately that he did and that he remembered me. I didn't send him a friend request or anything... but he's someone that I really would have LIKED to have had an apology from. And yeah, I still judge him for what a butthead he was to me. I don't really think I owe anyone an apology.... most everyone knows how crummy my memory is. That, and I always jsut say my peace and then I'm done with a situation so nothing lasts too long and harbors ill will

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  7. This whole FB thing has it's positives and negatives. I must admit, it has allowed me to also apologize to someone as well. Apparently, it's made them a better person. Would it be wrong to take credit? :)

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  8. Where would I begin to apologize...but now after reading this post, I'm beginning to think that we imagine ourselves far worse than we were.

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  9. You're a good lady...I have apologized to high school girls (I was a terror), and yes, it felt good. But I wonder if the apology is really unselfish? Or is it the need to be forgiven? Hmmm. Atany rate, it's a win-win.

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  10. I think we all grow up and mature, learning forgiveness along the way.

    FB -- a love/hate relationship! But I have reconnected with many people that I'd lost touch with!

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  11. I think it is so big of you to recognize what you thought you had done and then to have been sincere. I have found FB to be a positive connection for past relationships that have even been rough in the past. It keeps things positive without getting too deep.

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  12. Oh, I love this! I (to my knowledge) have only offended one girlfriend in my life, and I ended up apologizing after years had gone by. WOW, did it feel great! Even after years had passed, she was gracious enough to accept my apology and we moved on, and are still friends.

    Thanks also for your sweet comment on my blog! :-) I think Livia is soooo lucky to have those big brothers! :-) Have a great one!

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  13. Hey TV I started to write a comment before and Little Chick was hanging on my arm - literally! Ha! :) This is a great post. I went back to an old friend and said sorry about being insensitive about something. I try very hard to be aware of how I am with others and what I say. Thank you for checking in on Little Chick and I. She is so tired and every bit of energy then turns into her laying down on the floor. The poor little baby! I am also exhausted. I have had Mono already, but it almost feels like I have it again. Hope you are well my friend!

    Mama Hen

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  14. I was bullied horribly in elementary school from about 3-6th grade and a couple of them had reached out to me a couple of years ago. Honestly, it felt like the apology was more for THEM than for me. I mean it over 15 years ago. Unfortunately, kids are cruel and, as an adult, I know that they were the ones with the problems and that they bullied me because THEY had issues. lol

    Great post though! I may post an extension of this tomorrow (link included!). ;)

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  15. Aww, I'm glad you were able to get that resolved.

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  16. I've often thought it would be very interesting to interview all sorts of people from one's past (this is your life!). As your apology points out, we all remember different things about ourselves and others as years go by. I don't think I was ever mean to someone and failed to apologize for it. I certainly hope not at any rate. If anyone has wronged me, I have let it drift into the sea of forgetfulness because I don't really remember.

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  17. I'm visiting. Linked here from Rachel's blog. Read 5 or 6 of your posts. You have a unique blog style, and a very good one. Short and to the point, with good thought-provoking ideas.

    Decided to comment on this one b/c just this week I reached back 6 years to make ammends for a ministry oversight I was guilty of. Like your experience, the person didn't remember, but I did. Felt bad for years, but after the visit, felt good.

    Good post. Great blog. wb

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