Friday, January 28, 2011

Being Candid

While listening to the John Tesh radio program the other day I heard something worth sharing. He stated that millions and millions of people feel alone because we are no longer candid with one another. I can feel it. I’ve started to hold back and I can see others do it too.

Perhaps this is why blogging is so popular. What I’ve found about bloggers is that their comments on other blog sites are sometimes more insightful about their life than their own blog. (I can be guilty of that).

So why aren’t we candid anymore? Is it that we are scared of judgment or can’t trust? Are we unwilling to accept what we should be candid about?

20 comments:

  1. I am totally guilty of that too! I find myself puring my heart out on other blogs but very rarely on my own. But I love that other blogs' topics can move me to do so.

    I think I'm the opposite of what he says - I'm actually a lot more open today than I ever have been in my life and its all because of my commitment to overcome my OCD. It has broken down so many of my walls and I feel genuinely closer to people than ever! Especially with my husband! :)

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  2. I'm with ya - I always try to write honestly but blogging is one thing! It's really hard for me to be that way in person with people I care about. I guess, yes, I'm afraid of ridicule for some reason. I have a few select people that I can say nearly anything to, though...so I guess that's enough for me for now. Though I wish I could be more open to everyone!

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  3. I feel as though I am truthful on my blog, but probably don't pour myself out on there, don't want doom and gloom, would rather focus on the positive but I'd share if needed...I feel blogging helped me deal with my grandmother's death last year, I wrote EVERY feeling and my readers were SO supportive, it was wonderful. And your blog, it brings tears to my eyes when you ask us the tough questions and I have to dig deep, but I like that :)

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  4. I think that sometimes putting it all out there on your blog can be too risky to your non-computer life. Sometimes to blog about the really hard stuff is to invite our families to know all the details that my husband and I would rather not have them know about. But you're right - it does come at a price. And it can be very isolating to carry the burden of a secret around people who you know would be a huge support if only you were able to talk about it without fear of "word getting out."
    To answer your question on my photo - I use Photoshop Elements 9 and Adobe Camera Raw (ACR) that comes with it. I've only just started learning about it; it's been so fun!

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  5. I'll admit. I'm scared. I don't know if I'm more afraid of offending people or the hate mail that could pour in. It's definitely a fear thing for me!

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  6. Being candid would mean being vunerable. I think that people have been hurt enough where they begin to put their guard up. I guess people are afraid of the response if they were to be candid. I hope you are doing great my friend!

    Mama Hen

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  7. I agree with what cooper posted. I have some interesting family members who have flipped out over our blog unfortunately. I'm just thankful for my mom, hubby and close gal pals who I can be candid with!

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  8. It's not PC to be candid - you might hurt someone's feelings :)

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  9. So so true! I think we all want to protect ourselves, but really the only way to have a close relationship with somebody is by making yourself vulnerable. Very interesting post.

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  10. This is great TV and so true. When I first thought about blogging, the idea of putting my thoughts out there for the entire world to read scared me to death. I think that's why I decided to do a 365 day project with the focus of writing about a positive in my day. I figured it wouldn't be too vulnerable, too scary or too risky. For me, it's safe. And that's the only way I will ever be able to blog. I give props to people who "put it all out there." For me, it's too much and would make me a nervous wreck. I would then need a therapist (as the ladies in your last post suggested!) LOL

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  11. You don't want to make yourself too vulnerable online, where anyone can say anything to you, some even annoymously! But I do believe that if you're blogging, you still have to be genuine...some things are better left unsaid or just for your trustworthy friends!

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  12. You are so right about this one. I'm very careful about what I post because friends, coworkers, and my inlaws all know about and read my blog from time to time...I'm careful not to use it as a venting tool even though sometimes I do want to vent about family frustrations, etc. You make an excellent point!

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  13. I am so guilty! I will sometimes hold back a little on my blog because I'm not sure who might read it but i would never expect someone to go to the blogs I comment on and look for what I said. So, sometimes my comments share a little more than my post. I try to be as candid as possible and in real life, I'm pretty much an open book. I have met lots of people who are not as open as I am but I think if you focus too much on holding back then it's hard to have an honest conversation.

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  14. Hi there,
    Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for following my blog. Following yours as well :)

    Warm regards,
    Karen

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  15. I just stumbled on your blog and love it. Great job. New follower.

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  16. I am so guilty of that and I think Cooper up there hit it on the head. I know I've got family, coworkers, etc. that read my blog so I have to keep that in mind...although getting raw and racey isn't my style anyway. What I do wish, is that I had more courage to speak my mind in personal situations that I do. I am always so dang scared of hurting someone's feelings. Great food for thought, TV

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  17. TV, it's interesting how much of the same thoughts I have on this topic as you. It's true, millions of people do feel alone. And it's not always easy to be candid, we're afraid of being vulnerable. Good point about comments on others' sites being more insightful sometimes! I like connecting with another blogger's experiences or great questions so sometimes I'll write more from my heart on other sites.

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  18. I think that's why I started blogging. It's much easier for me to be candid behind the "pen and paper" than face to face. It's easier to put it out there never really knowing who might or might not read it.

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  19. yeah, i definitely think many people hold back on their blogs because of family members/friends/co-workers/bosses/etc see them... whereas their comments on others' blogs are a lot more "buried". in saying that, i find when i write really vulnerable posts, i always get appreciative comments with people opening up as well. openness breeds openness.

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  20. Sometimes we are not candid b/c we want to maintain illusions of having it all together. Ironically, being a leader at church sometimes promotes being a bit dishonest so you can appear to be qualified.

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