Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Words that Sting

A friend told me recently that some of my words can be sharp. There are definitely times I can be too direct.

All too often we don’t hear every word we say when in fact, we listen more carefully to what others say. How odd, really.

I would assume this is the crux of so many disagreements. Statements like, “That’s not what I meant or I hope you didn’t take it that way” are all too common.

Whether sarcasm feeds misinterpretation or a false perception of the truth; words can sting.

How do you work to make sure your words are understood?

22 comments:

  1. It's tricky, isn't it? I'm a very sarcastic person and am working on being less so!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am extremely sarcastic and most people know this about me so know how to take me. I do my very best at using the "I FEEL" phrases as opposed to accusatory. Sometimes I feel that oversensitivity from others misconstrues my statements. That is just how I feel though, it is truly the perception of the listener that matters most in getting your point across. You hit home with this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah, I was just having a conversation with the hubs about TONE and communication last night. I try really hard to be concise and clear but misunderstandings still happen. Words can sting whether intentional or not and the unfortunate thing is that once you put them out there it is hard to take them back. Thanks for making me think about that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I do much better in writing. I ponder each word and revise incessantly. I suck at verbal communication. Having spent too much time in the corporate world, I've lost the ability to talk to people....everything was done via email.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the follow #500! I'm following you back :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. When I listen to others, I tend to watch more than listen...body language speaks louder than words sometimes. As for my own words...I really, really try to think about what I am going to say before I say it. I never get in a discussion when I am upset...that is never helpful.

    My grandmother use to say that words were like feathers in a pillow. Once you open the pillow and let the wind blow them about, you can never get them all back inside, no matter how hard you try. Best to mind your words 'before' you speak them.

    Thanks for stopping by my blow. I am now following you back :)

    Little KLV is just adorable. Just looking at her photos on the right made me smile. She looks like she is lost in deep thoughts and so content.

    Anna

    Two blogs:
    http://IamNannyAnna.blogspot.com
    and http://thebabystoreplus.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. My mom always said "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all"..so alot of the time I kept my mouth shut..lol...I am much better now..Thank you for stopping by my blog..I am following you back..

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow, good question. I know that technology like texting, emails, etc can ALL be misunderstood and taken the wrong way. I make sure if I'm going to say something harsh, it needs to be said in person or over the phone, not indirectly to avoid confusion :)

    Have a good night!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great post TV! I am VERY careful with words when it comes to texting, blogging or emails. Words can be so misunderstood on those forums. Speaking, however, allows you the liberty of tone and facial expressions. To me, those two things are so important. If I think first and use the right tone for the situation, I feel that it comes out okay. I have really made a conscience effort to think first, though. Speaking my mind right away used to get me into trouble. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree! Following you back from www.at-home-with-mom.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. I used to work very hard at watching what I said and trying to be considerate of others. Unfortunately, I ended up with TMJ from clenching my jaw shut! I also noticed that the people I tried so very hard to be considerate of were not responding in kind. So now I tend to speak my mind more openly, which sometimes gets me into trouble, but it much more "me". However, if someone is upset by my words and calls me on it, I am more than happy to either explain myself better or apologize. (it infuriates me when someone is mad at me, but won't talk to me about it, but I see that as their issue, not mine. Good post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am a very blunt and sometimes too honest person, so I really try hard to tone myself down LOL. Even so when I am a bit "brutally honest" I always try to think before I speak. That way I know that I am saying exactly what I want them to hear. I also tell them before hand.

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is a great post again TV! I know all about this, because I can be very sensitive to what people say. I listen. You bring up a great point about people not really thinking so much about what they say or perhaps how they are saying it, but people listen and take it in. Maybe things are not meant a certain way, but the words can last in someone elses mind and heart. At times people think they are being "honest" with others when they are really being unkind. I guess we all should think before we speak. If we do not have something nice to say then we should not say it at all.

    Mama Hen

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi there,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog "What's On My Mind"
    I am following you back. You have a lovely blog. Your daughter is beautiful!

    Take care, and make everyday a great day!

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello down there! Over here, on the other end of the spectrum! Hi. :) Yes, I need to be MORE direct at times. Especially when it comes to my photography business. I'm a people pleaser all around!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey TV, did I mention that we have a bee in our family? Yes, there can be a lot of stings. I know they come out of love, but it still hurts. Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

    ReplyDelete
  17. I just make sure I only say 1/2 of what I'm thinking!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think my stings mostly come out when arguing with my husband. (It's amazing how diplomatic and understanding I can be with my friends...but I must admit that I'm not always this way with my husband.) I usually try to analyze what I'm going to say first, but there are times when my emotions just come out unsensored.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm generally a little overly sensitive myself so I try not to "sting" others. I can generally understand a tone or comment from a friend or close one, and hope they can from me, too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Using illustrations helps to make sure we are understood. I'm trying to not use sarcasm b/c it is so often misunderstood. And it hurts. Another good post.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is such a great question. In person I tend to hold my words until I think I understand where the other person's coming from. Sometimes that takes a while since we don't always have the time to do this.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am honest with everyone I meet when I meet them I let them know that in advance. I have realized that all in all only the fake people don't want to hear the truth we are all looking for honesty in one form or another. I give hugs rather than hurtful words because sometimes that's all that will heal a bad moment^~^~your newest follower from Tuesday Blog Trail~Shari

    http://www.1grown2togo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by - it's appreciated!