Thursday, April 21, 2011

No Dumping?

Recently someone sent me their problems and anger.  The message was all bundled up in a nice little email.  They were mad and angry at someone else and they wanted to dump their problems onto me.  Now as a human there are several things I can do with this information 1) delete 2) react or 3) console. 

There is a difference between opening up, casual complaining and all out dumping.  When we have a problem and need a friend, we talk about our feelings and we have open ears.  I like this exchange.  When we dump, we are angry, our ears are certainly closed, we turn stupid and we become rude. I don’t like this exchange; it stinks.

Since it’s illegal to dump our garbage just anywhere the same should be true for figurative dumping?

BTW: I deleted the email but it wasn’t the last I heard about it L

21 comments:

  1. lol;0 I like the garbage dumping analogy;0. I totally know what you mean about the difference in venting and needing some advice and spewing. I think it is immature and dramatic when people spew but, boy do people spew!! I like the delete idea! ;0

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  2. This is a wonderful post! I am going to make sure I am not a "dumper" :)

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  3. I hate people are super negative and the "debbie-downers." I understand when you have to be there for a friend...but when someone is like that constantly it starts to affect your own personal mood.

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  4. We are kindred spiritis, I tell you. This just happened to me today...twice, by two different friends! To the first, I emailed back that I just didn't have time to psycho analyze her relationship issues today, I have my own problems to deal with and the second I just listened to the blah, blah, blah on the phone until I could hang up. It's exhausting really, and quite frankly the assumption that their problems trump everyone else's is down right selfish and annoying! I'm with you - No Dumping. I'm done!

    Have a great weekend!

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  5. wow, sorry to hear about all the illegal "dumping" going on...that's never fun. And YES, it should be understood to not let someone have it, just because! Not right. Hope your week improves...afterall it is Easter weekend :)

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  6. HA!!! I love this - so true. Just keep hitting that delete button Girl :D

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  7. EEk! That's a tough one. I think you did the right thing!

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  8. Enjoyed reading your blog..Following you back!

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  9. Following from the TGIF Blog Hop! Hope you'll follow back :) http://igiveugetgiveaways.com

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  10. I have to stop thanking you and saying how great your entries are for the brain (and soul)...argghhh! So instead, I'm sending you to this link as I pass on an award to you---http://www.joypagemanuel.com/2011/04/in-spotlight.html

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  11. Great idea! I understand what you are saying about an exchange with friends and open ear. Dumping really is a one sided action however it drains the recipient. In reading this I am encouraged to make sure that I am one with an open ear and that I can say no more.

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  12. I'm so sorry! That really stinks. I probably would have done the same thing! I like your no figurative dumping rule, that's great, now if people would only follow it!

    I hope you have a happy easter, it's great to be back!!

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  13. Booo! I do not appreciate a dumping. Actually, at my advanced age I have cut the dumpers out of my life. I have a best friend that vents and I love to listen and advise. She reciprocates. That's how it works. TGIF!!

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  14. Nice! This is so true. I try to only do this to my husband. Not about him, others that I need to vent about. He listens and I feel better. He has the ability to not get emotionally involoved since he's super objective and knows I just need to say it out loud to work it out for myself. When I ask for his input he gives it, but usually he just sits quietly until I say, "I'm done, thanks for listening." : ) I have friends that run come to me with their "dumping" sometimes, and I try not to get too involved. It's hard though! Good for you for deleting. I don't know that I could have been strong enough to not get sucked in.

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  15. Very good post and message! I will need to make sure I am talking not dumping on my poor hubs!

    Jonesie~~

    My daily blog of whatever comes to mind!
    Some censorship warnings may need to be applied here:
    http://msjanetjones.blogspot.com/

    My personal blog recounting memories good & bad from my life:
    http://thingsinmyrearviewmirror.blogspot.com/

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  16. This reminds me of an O article I just read about emotional muggers. You're going along, feeling good, and then someone comes along and tries to steal your good mood with their emotional baggage. Depending on the person's motives for writing the email, depended on the suggested reaction. Doing nothing is probably the safest bet.

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  17. First, thank you so much for checking in on me. I have had quite a few challenges recently and have been exhausted from it. I really apreciate your concern and care my dear bloggy friend. It really means a lot to me. This is a great post. I think that at times "dumping" can happen when someone is very overwhelmed with what is going on in their lives. They do not always know how to handle things and it comes out as anger and annoyingly "dumping". I try my best to console, but if it is just an angry tirade about things that are not really something to get so stressed over I try to avoid it. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Easter my friend!

    Mama Hen

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  18. How true! Excellent post!

    I'm a new follower from the hop. Stop by and visit me, too!

    http://acts17verse28.blogspot.com/2011/04/calling-for-captions.htm

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  19. I have found myself referring several friends to psychologists lately...maybe that's my way of "passing the buck". At least a psychologist gets paid to get dumped on.

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  20. Great imagery - now whenever I see a dump truck I'll think of figurative dumping as stinky. You're smart to realize when someone has that much anger towards someone else, they shouldn't be allowed to continue "dumping" their anger on you. I like Emily's practice of referring. Sometimes it's tricky to be able to tell how much they need to vent vs. them not taking responsibility for their own problems.

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