Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fighting 4 The Love You Want?

About 6 months ago I told my husband we are now entering the stage of, “Hey did you hear Mars and Venus are getting a divorce!” 

He looked at me like I had 3 heads.  He gives me this look often.

Unfortunately my proclamation is coming true.  A few couples around us seem to be headed for Splitsville.  Some are trying to stick it out – some are driving off a cliff.  

Their relationships are not for me to judge.  I didn’t marry them. 

There are some simple truths here:  Marriage is hard. Growing together is hard.  Parenting is hard.  Oh heck, life is hard. 

Onto the question, how hard is it to fight for the love you want? 

13 comments:

  1. Marriage is hard, and I think you have to go into it knowing that it takes work and that not everything is a fairytale. Being a parent adds a whole another dynamic to the table. I think you just have to be honest with one another even if it's hard to do.

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  2. I think the biggest thing is open communication about EVERYTHING!!!!! My husband and I have seasons that are really hard for us - but through it all we always are open with eachother. He knows me better and more intimately than anyone. And though I hurt him or he hurts me at times, we work through it. It's lots of talking and arguing but in the end - we are committed, so communicate!!!! Life is hard - and though we annoy each other with things, we wouldn't want to do it by ourselves

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  3. How hard is it...hmmm. I am guessing that it is harder for some than others but, hard for us all nonetheless. I think the biggest thing for me is recognizing that even though it is easy to point fingers at my husband and easy to want to blame him for things, when I stop and think about myself I realize I am SO far from perfect and then I see how much I still need to work on in myself. Suddenly I don't feel justified in attacking my husband and putting a wedge in our marriage. No matter what happens, I need to improve myself and be a better wife and often I find that the hubby follows suit. Love covers a multitude of wrongs!

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  4. This is so true. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Anyone who says marriage is easy is selling something. We have struggled. We have been through so much that we had said divorce once, and it scared both of us so much we knew that we never wanted that. So we worked together to make it stronger than ever before. We survived long stints away while he was in the Navy, not being there when our son was born and several major losses. We can survive anything...as long as we continue to work and treat our marriage like it's something worth fighting for! I love Aiden more now than the day I married him 12 years ago. Awesome post!!!

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  5. Living with ANYONE is hard, but just like the above comment said, I believe anything worth having is worth fighting for. It's sometimes just easy to throw in the towel. I often want to tell our friends, if you'd just stick with it, work together and GROW UP TOGETHER, you'll be so happy with the end result.

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  6. Love what Say What said up there! Divorce sucks, but it is often easier than looking inside ourselves and our relationships to fix the real problems. This is why 2nd marriages have an even higher divorce rate than 1st marriages.

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  7. I hate to be cliche, but everyone thinks the grass is always greener on the other side. It may appear to be...until you get there.

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  8. Some days are harder than others to fight for love. If we approached marriage like we would any other task of the day, it may be simpler. Since it involves deep emotion, expectations and intimacy, I think marriage is a rare gift and it's worth fighting for.

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  9. Some times we don't realize that we need to be deliberate about our relationships; the foundation doesn't split instantly but begins with tiny cracks. Fight, fight, fight!

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  10. Fighting for the love you want in your life sure does seem TOTALLY WORTH IT in my book, everyone has rough patches but if it's something you truly want, I say fight for it!

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  11. This is so true. Life is just hard. And we are all sinful people, so unfortunately, none of us have the privilege of perfection. We need forgiveness from our spouses, communication of how to handle things more appropriately, and we just have to work at it and keep on loving. I have to remember that I can be unloveable too. :) Great thought provoking post!

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  12. Yes, I'm in the season of harder days...I must admit that I've learned not to attack my husband for petty things like picking up his dirty socks or wasting $20 at the convenient mart on mints and gum. There are definitely more serious things to be concerned about--consoling someone after the death of a family member, helping someone get through addiction, serious financial losses...yes, I've learned to put it all into perspective. We're going through all of the above; marriage is not an easy road, but it's more important to work at it first before calling it quits.

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  13. I have noticed this, too! So many people our age, with younger kids, are divorcing. It saddens me. I'm so very grateful that Adam and I have a great relationship. Could it be better? Sure, but we are happy and content. Life is hard, but we have made a commitment to be married and share the little and big annoyances together. I can't imagine life without him!

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