Saturday, January 21, 2012

Time and Distance?

When we go through tough times it’s hard to know whether we need to immediately examine/discuss and mediate or whether a little time and distance will help smooth things over. 

As I age I realize not everything needs to be discussed over and over.  Not every problem is significant enough that it needs to be brought to the surface.  There are also occasions when time and distance gives us the perspective we need to make necessary changes.  At the same time it’s healthy to address problems and work to change them instead of waiting weeks, months or years for them to come to a resolution. 

Making the choice all depends on the situation but perhaps the most important lesson I’m learning is the more emotional I am - the more time and distance I need. 

How do you decide which option (A) immediately discuss/address/work to change or B) time and distance) to select?



PS:  For some of you I'm not able to comment on your posts (thanks blogger) - please know I'm reading them.  Perhaps this issue just needs some time and distance :-)

11 comments:

  1. I have a mantra: respond, don't react. Reacting is emotional. Responding takes time, thought. And it's definitely the best thing to do when faced with a tricky situation. It isn't easy, though!

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  2. That's a toughie...I've used both of these approaches.

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  3. Good question. I have a hard time letting things simmer.. but I have learned, yes, sometimes that is all that is needed. Friendships I thought were completely over, magically reappeared without a word or hesitation, just when I needed them.

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  4. Hmm, I'm not sure on this one :( I think I've tried both and I might like talking immediately but time sometimes helps too???

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  5. I'm more of time and distance! It takes me a while to really think through (pretty much everything) first!

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  6. Lately, I'm learning how to assess better. For example, last week I found out disappointing news and was really upset. But instead of talking it out right away, I waited a day, talked it out, and resolved what was upsetting me without being irrational or asking for more than I needed. But sometimes, it's better to talk it out in the moment, just as long as emotions aren't running too high.

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  7. I work very very hard on this. Usually my reactions are emotional and I don't want that and so I need time and distance to allow the emotion to die down.

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  8. I can get a little emotional about things and I am learning that taking a moment and letting a little time and distance come in can really help me to look at things with a much clearer head. I hope you are doing well. Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

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  9. I love Oprah's saying - when in doubt, don't.

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  10. Great thoughts....deal with it or step away? Hmmmm...Given my non-confrontational nature, I have to admit that I tend to first choose the step away route/time & distance. However, when I know and feel that it's just festering, then I speak up and confront it. This balance is difficult for me. I guess it also depends on the issue at hand. Now you're making me think...AGAIN! HAHHAHA...THANKS! :-))

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  11. Great question! I always struggle with the immediate response thing...I'm a thinker. I like to wait on it, mull it over, and assess exactly how angry/determined/right I need to be about a situation before I act. A lot of the time it helps, but there are occassions where it is such a hinderance. I need to speak out and speak up more!

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