Monday, April 23, 2012

Do Tough Times Make Your Relationship Stronger?

In college I was a nanny for a family. I adored not only the kids but the Mom.  She was one of those great Mom’s you aspire to parent like.  They went through some stress as a family and she would always say, “We grow stronger through the tough times”. 

I always admired that statement.  I hadn’t seen many marriages get better with stress but I loved knowing that it was possible. 

Now that I’m 7+ years into my marriage I appreciate that statement more than ever.  It’s incredibly easy to grow apart and not fight for a happy/healthy relationship. 

When unpleasant things happen, digging deep and forging ahead together seem to be one of the greatest commitments we can make for the families we create. 

Do tough times make your relationship stronger or more unstable?


  1. Well, this post definitely strikes a chord with me being that our tough time has been 3+ years long and continues to challenge our marriage daily. I would say that in the midst of the storm it can be hard to see how it is making you stronger sometimes but, you just know it in your heart so you keep fighting for love and for goodness. I think the true picture of strength is often seen when a marriage comes through the storm and can look back on the other side and say together with victory, "We did it together!" I'm still waiting for that day but, in the meantime I know in my heart this will only strengthen our bond over time if we keep hanging in there! Great question:)

  2. Stronger, by far. It's been extremely unnerving when we've gone through tough times together, BUT even when you're in the moment and running seems like a much better option, I'm happy to say that we've truly bonded. :) I'm glad that you're finding that the tough times make you stronger too!

  3. I would definitely say stronger even though it might not feel that way at the time!

  4. absolutely! It's very true, and us being 7 years into it, it's a work in progress...that LOVE is there, but you work at the marriage always. I think what others go through and their obstacles help my husband and I grow stronger because we talk and communicate about where they went wrong. We are making it a priority to pursue one another and never just assume the other FEELS loved and appreciated!!!

  5. I actually think it depends on what the "tough times" are... Financial hardships, in-law issues, and the like, I believe can be resolved with love, patience, and hard work. However, with addiction or infidelity, I'm not so sure if a marriage can become stronger unless 1) it stops, and 2) there's true remorse on one side and true forgiveness on the other.

    This is a great post TV!

  6. If a couple is sufficiently committed, definitely stronger. Tough times strip away the false expectations and allow genuine companionship and contentment to settle in. Takes time, it's something that matures through the years. Good post.

  7. Tough times can definitely make it stronger, but ONLY IF there is true love and commitment. And often times people forget that love is a constant decision that is made, and not so much a feeling. That's when troubles happen.

  8. I think you know, I have experienced my fair share of trouble in my marriage. But one thing I refused to do was give up. Stronger? Well, if we can get through what we have been through, and still want to be together in the end, then anything is possible.

    I think too often people just throw in the towel. I don't think that i always the answer. Strength? Sure. But you have to recognize it as growth. That whole "everything is roses, we're in love" will only get you so far. Real life is messy. Love is the icing on the cake. Striking a happy medium is the key. (At least that's my two cents.) ;-)


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