Losing a parent is surreal; of course they are supposed to go before any of the kids. In my family it didn’t quite work out that way. My brother died 16 years ago; another accident. The level of raw emotions is inexplicable.
For the first 20+ years of my life, my relationship with my Dad was rocky. As we both grew up, the anger disappeared. Our relationship became peaceful and easy. We saw each other about every five years. These were fun, quick, jovial visits. Our phone conversations were the same; funny and lighthearted. He had the best sense of humor with a big belly laugh and a quick wit. He taught us all how to find the humor in life. He also had the best phrases – something only a country boy could get away with saying. He loved Elvis and honky-tonk. He taught me how to ride a horse and I watched him help bring countless baby calves into the world. Amazing memories of growing up on a ranch.
He did not have an easy life but he was loved and he gave love. He is at peace now.
I’ve tried to prepare myself for this day, but I’m no fool – death is never easy. Not even for this country girl.
I lost my Dad today and he can never be replaced.
If you haven’t made amends with someone in your life, please consider doing it. I cannot imagine going through this with the weight of regret looming over me.
I’ll miss you Dad.