Thursday, November 15, 2012

Lessons from Loss

I’ve been struggling with my lack of ‘what did I learn from my Dad’s death’lately. When my brother died, it was a life changing event. From my brother’s passing, I learned who I wanted to be. Now just over one month later I’m still struggling to find that deeper meaning.

Why the struggle? Because while we can learn from life every day; we are rarely as raw, open and heartfelt as when trying to reason with the why of loss. There is this small window of opportunity to learn from these significant events otherwise life’s responsibilities cloud over the lesson.  I am no longer grieving the loss of my dad just trying to apply it (in a more meaningful way) to my life.

Maybe I have learned more than I realize and the distance of time and perspective just haven't kicked in yet. My dad rarely said a negative word about anyone and when I talk with acquaintances, I'm working at giving them the benefit of the doubt vs listening to what others may have said.  My family has always been important to me but now it’s effortless to see their greatness vs weaknesses. Laughing and spending time with good people are my latest priorities.

And I have to say that my book has been a pleasant distraction. In fact, I have my first book signing this weekend! I followed my dream and I know my dad would be proud.

So I continue to question – how do I grow from this experience? Time will tell…

8 comments:

  1. I don't know conclusively how one grows from the experience. My dad died when I was ten. I'm in my 60s now and still learn things from it. Life. A book signing or some less public triumph --you'll always feel the pride there, something learned from characters of people who cared. Their love doesn't have an expiration date. Give yourself time.

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  2. I know your dad is so proud of you---and I'm sure you will see how you will grow...it might not be today but I'm sure one day you will see. Good luck on your book signing! All your hard work has paid off.

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  3. I am sure time will indeed tell. However, I also suspect that maybe there won't be as much learning from losing your Dad because you've already learnt so much from his life/ while he was alive and have been practicing them.

    Good luck on the book signing! Bravo! :-))

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  4. My dear friend you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes the lessons come as time goes on. It has been so long since my Dad passed and I am still learning so much "on my own". The pain is always there tucked in a place that allows me to stay composed. But it comes out from time to time and I must take a moment to stop, remember, be thankful and move forward. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish there were words that I could say that would help you during this time. I will keep on praying for you and your family during this time. I am so sorry for your loss my dear friend. I am here if you need and understanding friend. Try to enjoy your holiday as best as you can. I know it will be very hard. Big hug TV! Congratulations again on your book. Your Dad is smiling from Heaven above!

    Mama Hen

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  5. Just checking in my friend. Try your best to enjoy the holiday. I know it will be hard. believe me, it is always hard for me. Big hug to you and Happy Thanksgiving!

    mama Hen

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  6. Oh My.. I think death/loss/all of it.. I think there is so much to learn. But like all unexpected events, you will peel back layers upon layers of lessons. Thinking of you and PS - Super Proud of you with your book. Perhaps I could purchase one and talk you into signing it for me (as a gift for Autumn?) ;-) Take care.

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  7. Congrats on the book publish!!! That is incredibly exciting!!! I can't imagine how wonderful it must feel to have completed that labor of love and to have a book signing! I wish I could be there first in line to get a copy cuz I am so proud. Way to pursue your dreams and achieve them.

    I hear what you are saying about learning from loss. I am still learning. Learning to reach out to people more even when I don't want to. Learning to savor even the little moments even more. Learning to let things go faster in case I never get to see that person again. Learning to be more patient with the elderly and serve them better. Life is brief. Today could be my last day here! Knowing that makes me live it with so much more purpose and passion! hugs

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  8. Learning from loss takes time, literally. I think I'm still learning from some of the losses that I've experienced. I'm glad that your book is keeping you happy and distracted. If you do any book signings near me, I'd love to meet you and get it signed!!!

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