Friday, February 22, 2013

Will he 'Have your back'?

I’ve been thinking what I’ll tell KLV when (if) she asks the age old question, ‘what makes a good husband’.  Ideally that will be 22+ years from now but these kinds of answers take moons to form. 

My short answer is, 'find someone who's always got your back'.  If she wants specifics, here is my list:

Good provider, great father, willing to help around the house, not afraid of the kitchen/grill, manners of a gentleman, accepts her family, trustworthy, honorable and smart. 
There is of course the romance/passion piece which is important but cannot be the sole connector.  Attraction alone will not provide a lasting marriage. 
I believe my husband has all the above, some qualities are more apparent than others.  He'd probably laugh at this list and comparisons.  I'd be curious to see his list if we had a son.  

What makes a good partner (in your opinion)? 
PS: If it’s a good quality I’ll add it to my list to share with KLV in a decade or two. 


  1. An excellent list, Tesha, to which, even after 43 years of marriage, I can think of very little to add. I remember wanting a partner I could think around, someone who made me want to be a better man, and I found that. But other feelings that moved us to marry were too intense for analysis. I just wished all our kids good luck on that and they've done fine.

  2. I think you just got a lot of spam above as comments? This is a great list! I think a good sense of humor and some one who can roll with the punches...b/c you never know what cards life is going to deal you.

  3. Loving, compassionate, silly, comitted, loyal, kind, listens, empathetic, caring towards animals, giving, responsible, trustworthy, always there for you, a friend, and has your back. I hope all is well my friend. :)

    Mama Hen

  4. You mention some really important qualities. I would have to go with the votes above and say that having a good sense of humor/being silly is important too. When life gets hard, as it inevitably does, sometimes the only way to cope is to find humor. Being able to laugh during hard times and even being able to laugh at oneself is a treasured quality. (If you can find someone that makes you belly laugh--he's definitely a keeper. Seriously, how many people have this talent?)

    My only other suggestions would be someone that's positive, loves life, and maybe is even a tad adventurous. These kinds of people can make you feel as if every day is a new, wonderful adventure.

    This is a great post TV!

  5. Lily told me the other day that the most important thing in a husband was that he didn't snore ;)

  6. I don't know if this is the same as 'having your back'. But it's funny cos I was just contemplating this question too. Or rather, I was struck by something AJ did recently and thought about qualities of a good hubby too. (I guess great minds do think alike, hehehehe ;-)))
    Anyway, my answer....someone who deems your sense of happiness utterly important, prioritizes it. This is different from simply saying 'someone who makes you happy'. Or maybe in the end it's the same. But it's simply someone who tries to spot the little things that make you happy, and want to give those little, seemingly insignificant things to you to make you smile . There's my 2cents ;-)

  7. Oh wow. I wish I knew. (Clearly.) I'm not the best judge of character in men anymore. lol


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