Friday, March 29, 2013

Our Need To Be Right & Heard

Recently I read an article about how white ‘ice’ is starting to trend over stainless steel appliances.  Sure. Okay. Whatever.  The best part of the entire article was when I scrolled down to review the on-line chat. 

Basically it’s a few people discussing how great (or not) it would be if avocado green or harvest gold made a comeback in the kitchen.  The discussion quickly went from kitchen colors of the 70’s to whether black or white contains color/pigment. The chat then went onto discuss whether WD40 contains cod oil or petroleum. One commenter even mentioned child abuse. 

Gee, I thought the article was about kitchen appliance color trends.

What’s funny is so many of us have this need to be right and then share it with the world.  Now that we are all on social media we can be ‘right’ in front of a lot of people. Which may drive some equally crazy reading all the miss information out there.

I understand being wrong stinks but are we arguing just to be right or simply to be heard?  Besides, how do we learn anything if we think we know it all?  


  1. Unfortunately lots of folks invest too much emotion in discussions about things that can be no more than correct or incorrect and have no moral import like right or wrong. We also fly into impassioned apologies where a simple "excuse me" would suffice. I guess it has to do with fear of error and consequence but we do like dramatic exaggeration too. Humans, eh? Good post!

  2. It's interesting to mix people's need to be right or heard with social media. When reading product reviews, for example, I can always tell the people that are negative. They have to find something wrong with every little thing--this is too small, or the color is wrong, or the product is made cheaply (even when the product did, in fact, cost like $2.00--did they expect it to be well-made?)

    I suppose there are times that I feel like I need to be 'right' too, but I find that 'going with the flow' is sometimes better for my own happiness and sanity. I could have ruined a lot of friendships if I voiced my disapproval every time I didn't agree with a friend's parenting or marriage advice. Sometimes it's better to listen, learn (and when there is no opportunity to learn--just move on...)

  3. I think people just want to be heard. Social media has provided that outlet.

  4. Yep social media gives everyone a voice...even if it's not the right one...but people get really brave behind a computer!

  5. This is extremely insightful, TV! I loved how you raised the question of whether it's being right that we want or simply being heard. Social media being so accessible now has truly given access to a lot of us and given people the chance to say, 'Hey, this is me, I am here and I have a voice that I need you to hear'. I just hope having all this fora for discussion hones our skills for listening, and agreeing to disagree and respect each other, rather than getting more practice at shooting people down and making oneself feel superior. Let's hope...

  6. "Anonymous intimacy" is a term being used to describe the use of social media by people to meet the deep need to feel connected. Ironically, intimacy means to be open, honest, vulnerable, trusting. It involves trusting and being trusted.

    Anonymous means we chose to be reserved, even unknown, b/c we don't the know the other person well enough to be open, honest, etc.

    Thus the ironic (even oxymoronic) condition of anonymous intimacy: we don't know how or won't do the work required for genuine intimacy, so we settle for something quicker and easier: anonymous intimacy.

    I think much of what we read in social media, such as you described here, is the need to be heard so we can feel connected. Sad state.

    Good post, as always.


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